Tell us a little about yourselves!
We met ten years ago in New Orleans and started dating two years later when we both found ourselves in New York City. Conor, born and raised in the Bay Area, is in the creative field, working in video and film production. I’m a marketing director in beauty and spent my childhood in Turkey, Belgium and ultimately the States. I’m the type A planner and Conor is the dreamer, though I like to say we’ve both rubbed off on each other through the years. We now live in Los Angeles with our beagle-mix rescue Luna; often hiking, watching movies, and planning our next trip in our downtime.
Why did you decide to get married where you did?
Having an international friend group and family living in both Europe and the US, we always knew we wanted a destination wedding where we could unite with our nearest and dearest. Picking the destination was hands down the most challenging part of the whole planning process. We ultimately chose Portugal because it embodies the things we love most: great seafood and wine, friendly people, and untouched natural beauty.
A non-negotiable was to have all our guests staying at the venue with us. I stumbled across Pousada Mosteiro Amares over winter break, and a few days later we booked our trip to visit Portugal, albeit on a whim. We road tripped from Lisbon to Porto, seeing many venues along the way. Ultimately, our last stop on the trip was Pousada Mosteiro Amares: a XII century restored Monastery located in Northern Portugal’s Minho Region. Simply put, we were enamored by the pousada (portuguese for 'historic inn') as it transported us into another time. It embodied everything we could have wished for this adventure: a place of mystique, serenity, and splendor. The icing on the cake was Conor seeing the original stone tub that the monk’s used to crush grapes into wine, which ended up serving as our DJ booth at the after party.
How many guests did you have?
We intentionally kept our wedding small and ended up having 58 guests, all staying with us at the venue. The anchor to our wedding were our guests and everyone who attended really holds a special place in our lives. For those who couldn’t make it, including our grandparents, we had a Zoom link of the ceremony.
What was your budget?
We had a rough budget of $60,000 and were lucky to have our families’ support on most expenses.
Tell us about your outfits.
We both love fashion and were excited when it came to our wedding looks. Transparently, I was never the girl who grew up dreaming of the dress to wear down the aisle, so when it came to dress shopping, I was open to just about anything. I had a lot of fun trying on a bunch of different styles (I think I tried on at least 40 dresses), from princess skirts to massive ballgowns to slinky slips to two pieces, but ultimately landed on the Danielle Frankel Nina dress, which was one of the first I tried on. While I was shopping, my inspiration was Emma Stone’s character from the Yorgos Lanthimos movie ‘Poor Things’ – a little drama, a snatched waist, a lot of hips, and a long train that moved with me. This dress truly embodied all of that and more. It was a modern take on a classic vintage silhouette – in a lot of ways, just like our venue and much like my daily style.
I kept the accessories minimally meaningful, wearing my grandmother’s matching pearl earrings and necklace, and slingback nude Prada heels to complete the fit. I think the piece de resistance was my vintage Spanish veil I sourced a couple of weeks before the big day – it ended up being the showstopper and worked beautifully to complete that old world feel.
Conor wanted his look to be timeless, but with an unexpected twist in the details that made it “him”. His “Monte Carlo casino-inspired” look was centered around a Saint Laurent ribbon tie,. He chose a classic white Todd Snyder tux jacket and completed the look with his tried and true Gucci loafers from the 80’s. We both wanted our “something old” to be family heirlooms, so he donned his grandfather’s cufflinks put on by his moms day of.
For our party outfits, we wanted to keep it cool, but still dressed up. I leaned into the disco after party theme with a Galvan London sequined dress and changed into a pair of black Jimmy Choo’s (and later, into Nike Low Dunks), while Conor went for an all black fit in a Japanese inspired Martine Rose blazer and Prada loafers.
I have to shout out Loho Bride in Los Angeles, who have an incredible collection of both longstanding and up-and-coming international designers. The team made the process so enjoyable and relaxed. My dress was also tailored to perfection (thank you, Paula), which ultimately had me feeling really great in my body.
What was the most important aspect for you, in terms of planning your wedding?
We wanted our wedding to feel more like a dinner party and sleepover at ours instead of a traditional “wedding”, per say. Except if “ours” was a 12th century monastery in the Duoro Valley that all our guests stayed at. Our closest friends and family travelled far and wide to be there, so we ultimately wanted it to be just as much for them to get to relax, enjoy the surrounding areas, and ultimately let loose and have fun as the day progressed. At multiple points of the day/night, I saw our guests all over the venue mingling, lounging by the pool, running through the hallways, which is exactly the vibe we wanted.
Secondly, we wanted our wedding to be intimate. Every single person who was there has gotten to know us individually and together at such different points of our lives, in such meaningful ways. We really had someone there from each chapter of our lives, from so many corners of the world, which made everything extra sentimental. We also tried to curate an environment where our friends and family could get to know each other more closely in this beautiful setting. So many of our friends and family have since continued on getting to know each other, so that’s been really special.
Were there any elements that were important for you to incorporate?
Incorporating both of our upbringings and backgrounds was top of mind. We truly wanted those closest to us to play a part in our celebration and were lucky enough that they were so excited to take part. Whether it was Conor’s cousin officiating our wedding, his two moms walking him down the aisle, him using my dad’s handkerchief at the altar to wipe his tears, my brother walking our dog down the aisle with our rings – it was a true family affair! Conor’s best friend from childhood, a super talented musician, sang our first dance accompanied by the band. Conor’s cousin and two friends had back to back DJ sets at the after party, taking the mood from 2000s hip hop to Bay Area hyphy, to disco to deep house until early hours of the morning.
For me, sprinkling in elements of my Turkish culture through details was also key, such as the evil eye pendants on our menus that guests got to take home. One of my favourite moments of the wedding is everyone getting up to do a traditional Turkish wedding dance (“halay”) to songs I grew up listening, with my Turkish guests showing Conor’s American family and our friends how to do it. It’s a moment that was full of laughter and one I will cherish forever.
Any tips for couples getting married?
Enjoy your engagement for as long as you can. It’s a busy time, but take a few months if you’re able to just focus on your relationship and what this time means for you. When you do start planning out the details, divide and conquer based on your strengths and what brings you joy naturally. There was no question that Conor would be point person on music and photography, for example, and I on stationery and food.
Everyone kept telling us that the day would ‘fly by’, and it really does. So take a moment or two during the festivities to be together alone, just the two of you. One of the unplanned highlights of our day was going up to the bridal suite, opening our window which overlooked the cocktail reception as the band performed, waving at everyone. Make intentional time to look around and take everything in.
Are there any vendors that you would like to tell us a little more about?
We were incredibly grateful to work with such talented vendors in Portugal. Planning a destination wedding can be challenging, but everything came together seamlessly. We had a pretty specific, not classically “wedding” vision in mind and picked our vendors accordingly. They really worked with us to bring it all to life. In the lead up to the wedding and day of, our wedding planners at White Dots, as well as Graca and the entire catering & hotel staff at Pousada Mosteiro Amares were instrumental in ensuring all went to plan, and pivoting quickly when it didn’t.
A few special shout outs. First, to our floral vendor, Ana and her team at Jardin D’Epoque. I am loving what’s going on in the intersection of food, florals and design right now and wanted to lean into this for our wedding. Ana created multiple structures for our ceremony, as well as our reception dinner with fruit, coupled them with amanthus and orchids to create something super unique for us. Everyone was obsessed with the tablescaping.
Secondly, our photographer, Aida from Dias de Vino y Rosas. We love ‘fly on the wall’ photography, but also needed a few more traditional portraits with our families. She was able to execute both flawlessly, and was with us for the entire day into night, taking both digital and film. Our photos truly embody the energy of the day: imperfect yet elevated, fun, and laid back. We opted out of doing a traditional videographer, and instead passed around an old school VHS camera from the 00s for our guests to shoot themselves, us, and each other. Conor has been going through the (hilariously fun) footage and will ultimately cut our video together. It’s truly our guests’ point of view of the day, which we will cherish for years to come.
Photographer: Dias de Vino y Rosas @diasdevinoyrosas | Planning: White Dots @whitedots_weddings |
Flora: Jardin D’Epoque @jardindepoqueb| Ceremony & Reception Location: Pousada Mosteiro Amares
@pousadasdeportugal | Celebrant: Groom’s Aunt | Rentals: Rental Collection @rentalcollectionpt, BC Planning @bcplanning_rentals/ & Maison Christina @maison.christina | Makeup: Maria Luis @marialuislm | Hair: Joao Martins @joaomartins.hair | Catering + Beverages: Pousada Mosteiro Amares @pousadasdeportugal | Stationery: Betlem Calligraphy @betlemcalligraphy | Band/Music/DJ/AV: Music Beats Eventos @musicbeatseventos | Dancers: Soanimarte @soanimarte | Entertainment: (After Party): Loco Events @loco.eventos | Party Favours: Porto in a Bottle @portoinabottle | Ceremony Dress: Danielle Frankel @daniellefrankelstudio @loho_bride | Party Dress: Galvan London @galvanlondon (with Jimmy Choo @jimmychoo Shoes) | Ceremony Suit: Todd Snyder @toddsnyderny (Shirt/Jacket) & Theory (Trousers) @theory__ | Party Suit: Martine Rose Suit, Marni Shirt, Theory (Trousers) @theory__ & Prada @prada Shoes | Veil: Vintage | Engagement Ring: David Klass @davidklassjewelry | Wedding Rings: Custom | Ceremony Shoes: Prada @prada & Gucci @gucci | Earrings & Necklace: Heirloom from Grandmother | Groom’s Tie: Saint Laurent | Groom’s Cufflinks: Grandfather’s heirloom