Tell us a little about yourselves!
We met in high school in New Jersey, stayed close from afar over the years, and eventually both ended up living on the West Coast. A few months into the pandemic, he texted me for a book recommendation; we were looking at rings by Christmas 2020.
We’ve both shed a lot of skins since we first met, but have managed to always be (and see) our favorite selves with each other. We were inevitable!
Why did you decide to get married where you did?
We were not very far into wedding planning mode when we started feeling overwhelmed and demoralized by all the compromises: on budget, location, timing, etc. I’m from Montana, Frank’s family is on the East Coast, and we live in California, so we’d be making a lot of people travel a long way, whichever way we sliced it. And most of my favorite astrological elections were not the most convenient wedding days.
We ultimately landed on the Pisces lunar eclipse (a Tuesday) and a courthouse elopement. The Marin County Civic Center checked all of our boxes for the ceremony: beautiful and practical, historic and futuristic, geometric and organic, simple and strange. We love doing drives and day trips in the Marin Headlands, so we took a few days off and made a mini-moon out of it.
How many guests did you have?
Three: Susan, Jake, and Radostina Boseva.
What was your budget?
$5-7k. We exceeded that with photo/video, and it was so worth it.
Tell us about your outfits.
The Sottero and Midgley dress was the first wedding dress I tried on. I saw it online before my first bridal appointment and figured I’d try it for fun, thought it would look ridiculous on me, and fell in love. That dress didn’t allow for the freest of movement and we wanted to do a little hiking/clambering around after the ceremony, so I snagged the For Love & Lemons dress secondhand and had the train removed by a local tailor. The silver Tabi boots were a birthday gift to myself a few years ago. The red robe is also secondhand, and the red maribou kitten heels are from Frederick’s of Hollywood—I’ve always wanted a pair of boudoir heels, so I let myself have a little “getting ready” outfit about it. I did months and months of research to find the right jewelry, went down many statement necklace rabbit holes before deciding against it. The digging is half the fun.
Frank wore a brown wool suit from Suitsupply, with one of our little inside jokes embroidered in his collar and lapel. Sofia at the San Francisco location was so much fun to work with, and we can’t wait to send her this link! Frank’s shoes are secondhand and I think his 90s tie qualifies as “vintage” now.
What was the most important aspect for you, in terms of planning your wedding?
Astrological timing was important to me; I enjoyed the process of selecting a date that felt just right. It’s easy to spiral about astrological elections, though, so for anyone who needs to hear this: there’s no such thing as a perfect election, many good things have happened and will continue to happen on “bad weather” days, and electional astrology is not for everyone. Plenty of astrologers would advise against a lunar eclipse for a wedding but this one worked out magically for us.
Above all else, it was important that we felt like it was truly our day. The level of focus, intimacy, and creativity we were able to achieve on our wedding day just would not have been possible if we were also hosting a dinner party or a reception. We got to run around kissing and laughing and feeling like models, giving each other our undivided attention for 12 straight hours. It was awesome. And, rather than excluding any friends/family from the celebration because of budget or travel limitations, we can bring the film directly to our favorite people and throw parties where they’re at.
Were there any elements that were important for you to incorporate?
I’ve had Susan for ten years, so it was a dream come true to have her at my wedding. The pizza and Safeway cake were non-negotiables. We had an altar table with some special objects, and the rest just flowed.
Any tips for couples getting married?
You can do whatever you want for your wedding day—seriously. Make a list of wedding traditions you feel like you “have” to fulfill, and then make another list of things you want to remember about your wedding day, and compare them. Think about how you want to feel on that day, and give yourself permission to be truly honest. If you want to feel seen and supported by all of your loved ones, focus on finding a space that can hold all of them and go from there. If you want to feel like a hot Barbie with all eyes on you and your love, plan your day around that.
Remember that your wedding day can be completely separate from your wedding celebration. Again, give yourself permission to be honest. If you’re someone who prefers to be vulnerable in private, don’t pressure yourself to say your vows in front of a crowd. Instead, maybe you want to say them on film while eating pizza in a hotel bathtub, and then share that film with all of your friends and family and a bunch of internet strangers after the fact.
Take your time. You don’t need to get married within a certain window after your engagement. Pause and check in with each other, and slow down if you feel like you’re losing sight of your “why.” If you can stay mindful and present with your partner through the planning, you’ll have an easier time breathing in the goodness of the day when it comes.
Are there any vendors that you would like to tell us a little more about?
Radostina Boseva and Jake from Wildhouse Wedding, our photographer and videographer, went above and beyond for us and truly made our day. None of us had met in person before that morning, and by the time we wrapped up that night it felt like we’d been friends and collaborators for a long time.
My makeup artist Katya Rich also showed up for me in ways I had no idea I’d need, and I am so endlessly grateful for her—it turns out it is really hard to get ready by yourself with a dress like mine, and she slipped into bridal attendant mode with such skill and grace.
Photographer: Radostina Boseva @radostina.photography | Flora: Eothen (& last-minute roses from Safeway) @eothen_ | Videographer: Wildhouse Weddings @wildhouseweddings | Ceremony Location:
Marin County Civic Center | Reception Location: Mill Valley Inn @millvalleyinn | HMUA: Katya Rich @katya.rich.makeup | Catering & Beverages: Piazza D’Angelo | Cake: Safeway Bakery | Dresses:
Sottero and Midgley @sotteroandmidgley & For Love & Lemons @forloveandlemons | Suit: Suitsupply @suitsupply | Veil: Janene’s Bridal | Purse: Gab Bois @gabbois | Necklace: Bloomingdale’s | Earrings: Deborah Tseng @deborahtseng | Ear cuffs: MAM @mam | Engagement Ring: Mary Gallagher @maryellengallagher | Wedding Rings: Bario Neal @barioneal | Shoes: Ssense x MM6 Maison Margiela (Katryce) Frederick’s of Hollywood & DSquared (Frank)